Posture of Fasting: A Deeper Hunger

This is the second post in a series entitled, Spiritual Postures. As a quick recap each month I will clearly state the goal of this series in a hope that this wouldn’t inspire you but rather activate you.

My goal in spending the next year writing about spiritual postures is to not learn more or gain more content but to physically and tangibly explore them. My hope is that as we explore postures like prayer, our prayers would look more like Jesus and in turn our lives would look more like His.

For the sake of this series I will address fasting simply as the intentional abstinence of food and/or drink. I will address lifestyle fasts (social media, technology, etc.) in an article on simplicity in May 2016.

What is Fasting?

Fasting is a refrain from food and/or drink as a response to life’s tragic moments to rest in the presence of God.

Fasting is a response.

For most of my life I viewed fasting as a manipulative strategy to get something from God. I remember clearly my first real fast. I had just graduated from college, taken and quit a crappy first job, wrecked my car (right after I bought an engagement ring!) and I found myself floundering on the shores of life. I was lost, broken, and desperate.

Through the broken glass I began to see clearly what this thing we call the Christian life is all about. God had already given me everything I needed in Christ. Instead of fasting to get something from God…like a job! I responded by fasting. This was a sacred moment, a true spiritual posture…humbled…hungry…comforted.

Our culture has indoctrinated us to believe that by fasting, God will give us something in return. But when we look at Scripture we see that fasting is a response to what Scot McKnight calls a “grievous sacred moment.”* Instead of “if you fast you will get” the Christian tradition teaches that “when ______ happens, God’s children fast.”

So what’s the ______? What’s the grievous sacred moment?

• Sickness

• Job loss

• Infertility

• Sin

• Famine

• Violence

• Death

Fasting exposes us. Richard Foster writes, “More than any other discipline, fasting reveals the things that control us.” Fasting exposes our idols and reveals our true hearts. To fast without prayer is to just go hungry. Fasting is living out the prayer, “Father, not my will but Yours be done.”

How to Fast?

As you begin to cultivate a posture of fasting, it is important to gain an awareness of what is broken in the world…in your world. As you see brokenness, allow yourself to feel that weight. Let it settle deep within your soul. Allow your fingers to loosen their grip on your life.

Now respond to that weight. Replace your hunger for food with a hunger for God to make all things new. Substitute your thirst for a deep longing that every tear will be wiped away from the faces of God’s people. This is a fast. This is a spiritual posture.

I would be remiss if I didn’t address a few of the physical realities of fasting. It is probably not a great idea for your first fast to be 40 days and 40 nights. I’m just saying! Give yourself some time and some grace as you institute a rhythm of fasting in your life. If you have some physical ailments you may want to talk to a doctor before walking through the dessert.

Rhythms of Fasting

As with all the spiritual postures, we are addressing our rhythms of life. Instead of adding a checklist of things you must do to sanctify yourself, remember that Christ is sufficient. To fast is to desire the presence of the Great I Am.

McKnight again is really helpful in understanding fasting. See the chart below to see what a rhythm of fasting looks like:

A – Sacred Moment

Death

Sin

Fear

Threats

Needs

Sickness

B – Fasting

Responsive Fasting

C – Results

Life

Forgiveness

Safety

Hope

Answers

Health

In this rhythm we move from sacred moments to fasting to results. The ultimate goal is not your best life now but the very presence of God. See –> Respond –> Rest

Misconceptions of Fasting

Fasting for Body Image
Fasting for the sake of body image is not a spiritual exercise. If your goal is to lose a couple pounds you have missed the beauty of denial, refrain, and hunger.

Fasting is Just Physical
Fasting is a serious physical exercise. It is the act of replacing the physical pain of hunger with the very presence of God. But it is not physical alone. Fasting is just as much a mental exercise as it is a physical one. As our bodies desire food we respond with a desire for the intimacy of our Creator and Sustainer. We cry, “Christ be all around me.”

Fasting is Not Eating
Fasting is less about not doing something and more about being intentional with your entire being. The ultimate product of fasting is not an empty stomach but a full heart. The result of a Christian fast is a better feast. At the end of the day we desire something that food and drink cannot give us. We crave something bigger than our appetites and desires. Our true desire propels us to the Table of The Lord. Our deepest yearning of hearing, “this is My body broken for you…take and eat.”

Fasting is Dangerous
This one is tricky. Sure, depending on your physical nature a prolonged fast can be dangerous. But this is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about allowing yourself to be uncomfortable. We have grown so accustomed to feeling safe. We desperately want the gospel to be safe for the whole family. But it isn’t.

Sometimes, we must wade through the waters of the unknown. We must allow our guards to drop. We must die to ourselves (Jesus’ words…not mine!). Fasting is dangerous. It will inevitably call out of you what you were scared to know was there.

Psalm 35:13-14
13 But I, when they were sick—
   I wore sackcloth;
   I afflicted myself with fasting;
I prayed with head bowed on my chest.
14 I went about as though I grieved for my friend or my brother;
as one who laments his mother,
   I bowed down in mourning.

May the result of our fasting be the truest grace imaginable…the very presence of a loving Father.

Resources on Fasting

• *Scot McKnight, Fasting

• John Piper, A Hunger for God

• Thomas Ryan, The Sacred Art of Fasting

Posture of Prayer: Calloused Knees

This is the first post in a series entitled, Spiritual Postures.  As a quick recap each month I will clearly state the goal of this series in a hope that this wouldn’t inspire you but rather activate you.

My goal in spending the next year writing about spiritual postures is to not learn more or gain more content but to physically and tangibly explore them.  My hope is that as we explore postures like prayer, our prayers would look more like Jesus and in turn our lives would look more like His.

Let’s do this!

What is Prayer?

Prayer is communion with God.

Simple right?!?  Sure prayer is misunderstood, misused, or completely neglected.  We want prayer to be a one-sided demand bank (think genie bottle).  We want to bring our petitions before God Almighty and instantly see results.  Whether it is healing, restoration or blessing, we want prayer when we need prayer.

This is not communion with God.  This is something different.  At the center is not God…at the center is us.  If our sole reason to come to God is to get something from Him we will not truly be with Him.

Our posture in prayer is to be with God.  This is humbling.  The bended knee is proof that we cannot do this thing on our own.  And so we fall…sometimes to our knees…sometimes to our faces.

Of all the other postures, prayer is central.  Prayer is the catapult that launches the spiritual life.  All other means of grace build on the foundation of our prayer life.

Prayer is communication with God.

Here is what I didn’t say…”prayer is talking to God.”  This is to imply that prayer is one sided and this couldn’t be further from the truth.  Prayer is rhythmic…speaking, listening, pleading, celebrating, resting.  Jonathan Edwards says, “prayer is the voice of faith.”

Our hope in prayer is to be with God and to hear from God.  When this is our goal it shapes the way we pray.  Instead of prayers like this, “God bless me,” we begin to pray like this, “God help me to see you more clearly.”

How to Pray

To use Dallas Willard’s categories, prayer is a discipline (posture) of engagement.  This is to say that prayer requires an active participation from you.  It is an interaction between God and His people.

Prayer is learned.  The disciples witnessed the prayer life of Jesus and asked Him to teach them to pray (Luke 11:1).  So regardless of where your prayer-life stands today, by the power of the Holy Spirit, there is room for growth.  Take heart!

Jesus responds by saying, “When you pray, say…”

Our Father who art in heaven,hallowed be thy name.  Thy kingdom come.  Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.  For thine is the kingdom,and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.  Amen.

This prayer is not meant to limit your prayer but to guide it.  The point Jesus is making is not that you pray, but when you pray.  His assumption is that as His followers you would desire intimacy and interaction with Him.

Prayer requires an awareness of self, an awareness of others, and an awareness of God.  I love how Richard Foster describes a passionate prayer life, “White hot love for God is necessarily tied to a concern for the broken and bleeding of humanity.  A genuine prayer life powerfully connects us with the suffering and pain and injustice of our fallen world.”

Types of Prayer

Set Prayer

Set prayers are specific times set aside each day for prayer.  We are a people governed by our calendars.  By scheduling or cordoning off certain times of the day we guarantee reminders to pray.  I believe having specific times set aside each day encourages a robust commitment to prayer.  Some of the best prayer books utilize set times of the day for prayer.

Common Prayer

This was the most unfamiliar to me when I began exploring prayer as a spiritual posture as a seminary student.  Common prayers call us to something bigger than ourselves.  Whether it is praying the Psalms or picking up a prayer book, this type of prayer anchors us into the broader Christian community that spans time and space.  If you are new to common prayer I encourage you to start with the Psalter.  Once you feel comfortable praying the Psalms check out some of the resources listed below.

Spontaneous Prayer

Spontaneous prayer is the type of prayer we are the most familiar with.  This is the type of prayer we pray before a big meeting, a first date, a meal, the birth of a child, or the response to injustice.  But spontaneous prayer can also be adoring of God’s character, it can be evangelistic, and it can be confessional.

Rhythms of Prayer

Our lives are best captured by imagining them as a puzzle.  We are painting a picture that we may not see clearly because of the effort and attention we give to getting all of the pieces out of the box and organized.  We fervently try to get the corners set so we can make sense of the image.  The corners of work, family, hobbies, etc. quickly seal out any space for spiritual things.

The goal of spiritual postures is to cement the framework of your life on the things of God.  Prayer is the foundation, it is the starting line, it is the corner piece.  My prayer is that this will spark an attention and a desire to cultivate a rhythm of prayer.

Resources for Prayer

The great thing about living in a digital age is that there is so much beautiful writing that has been captured and can be easily accessed.  The following are some resources that I have used in the past on prayer.  I’d love to hear some resources that you’ve found helpful.

Book on Prayer

• Tim Keller, Prayer

• Richard Foster, Prayer

• RC Sproul, Does Prayer Change Things?

• Andrew Murray, Lord, Teach Us To Pray

• AW Tozer, Prayer

• Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray

Prayer Books

• The Valley of Vision

• The Book of Common Prayer

• Lectio Divina

• The Divine Hours

• Seeking God’s Face

Feel free to share your thoughts, prayer requests or helpful resources in the comments.

Here’s to a new year and a new rhythm!

Spiritual Postures: Introduction

Introduction to the Series:

Most of my life has been spent competing for something.  As an athlete I always wanted to work harder than the guy next to me.  When it came to sports…I was committed to being more disciplined and focused but that didn’t always translate into the rest of my life.  It wasn’t until seminary when I began to take a disciplined approach to learning and focusing on cultivating my spiritual life.

With that said I want to introduce a new series of blogs on spiritual formation.  After nearly a two month sabbatical from writing to focus on different aspects of spiritual formation, I will release a new post each month for the next year covering the following postures.

1. Prayer (this is the best place to start!)

2. Fasting (Don’t worry this post is after Thanksgiving and Christmas!)

3. Meditation

4. Study

5. Simplicity

6. Solitude

7. Submission

8. Service

9. Confession

10. Worship

11. Fellowship

12. Celebration

By focusing on one topic each month I (we) can immerse myself (ourselves) in exploring the depth of each means of grace through theory and praxis.

My hope for this series is to orient my life to God in Christ by the Spirit.  I hope you will join me.

Spiritual Disciplines

My major in seminary was spiritual formation.  This does not make me an expert.  All this means is that I have read and explored numerous Christian tradition’s view of spiritual disciplines.  Without plunging the depths of that in this introduction I want to briefly address why this is the last time you will read spiritual disciplines in this series.

When I say “spiritual disciplines,” I am pretty confident that I know exactly what you are thinking.  Your first thought was probably “morning quiet time,” or maybe “prayer”; fewer of you thought of fasting or solitude; and probably none of you thought of celebration or submission.

Words say something every time we say them.  “Spiritual discipline” is a grand attempt at saying something of opposite meaning.  An 18-year-old me hears spiritual disciplines and thinks “try harder,” “be better,” or worse…”win.”  The goal of spiritual formation is not a better you or a more committed you but a holier you.  A you that looks more like Jesus.

But we live in a world of self-made people that cling to the idea of sharpening ourselves to the image of Christ.  In this egotistical self-centered gospel we subtly but tragically deny Christ.  We have bought into God as a life raft and all we have to do is reach for Him and we can be saved.  Yet at the end of the day we were at the bottom of the sea far from the surface.

Means of Grace

Instead, the Christian gospel declares that Christ has accomplished for you and I what we could never accomplish on our own.  He has won the fight that we didn’t even know we were in.  He defeated the enemy that we unkowningly held close.

Spiritual disciplines allow no room for the grace of Christ.  Instead, what we need are means of grace.  We need posturings that lead us to God and leave us there.  The topics that will be addressed are not disciplines to make you better but are instead means of grace that by the power of the Holy Spirit can make you holy.

Have you ever said to yourself…”this is the year that I am committing to God.”?  “I am going to be more generous,” “I want to pray more,” or “I’m going to read the bible more.”

We all want these things.  We want lives filled with prayer.  We want authentic fellowship where we are completely known  by others.  We want an intimacy with God that might await a more disciplined self.

And yet in our very efforts, we become exhausted and quickly give up on our spiritual exercise that didn’t really leave any room for the Spirit of God.  We lose interest.  We lose hope.  We surrender to the idol of self.

What we need is a movement of the Holy Spirit.  We need to be crushed by grace.  We need to let go of discipline and embrace holiness.  We need a better story.  We need a more beautiful song.

That is exactly what is promised in God through Christ by the power of the Spirit.

Will you join me?

Suffering From Afar

Suffering From Afar

Suffering is everywhere. All around us there are moans of agony and devastation, leaving behind a whimpering trail for shalom.

The feared diagnosis of a loved one.
The miscarriage of a long awaited child.
The savage violence around this shrinking globe.
The wreckage of mother nature.

Suffering is a hard thing to comprehend and an even harder one to communicate. And yet there is a depth to suffering that is only understood by those journeying through it. But there is a prism of hope that comes from those outsiders who get the privilege to walk alongside of us through seasons of suffering.

As I reflect on my own seasons of suffering I am reminded that we were not meant to walk alone.

The Loneliest Question
Last week’s blog was a challenging one to write. Any depth of thinking on the crucifixion of Christ will bring you to your knees. The cruelest silence were those moments of Christ’s suffering apart from the Father.

The one thing suffering always has in common is a question…the question of why?

Why me?
Why now?
Why my child?
Why my dad?

The affliction of Christ aroused the question of purpose. Jesus did not respond, what do I do? or even where have you gone? But why have you forsaken me? He was reaching to the heart of the will of God and the depth of human suffering. Cries of “why” echo throughout the plight of humanity.

We want to know the will of the Father. We want to know what God is up to. We want something different. We want this cup to be taken from us.

It is these very moments that we realize we are not in control. We can’t come down off of that cross. God is drawing us near, into his very presence. Proving, despite our reluctance that things are not in our hands but rather are resting firmly in hands pierced by nails. While we may feel lonely, we are not. Jesus endured loneliness so that in the midst of our suffering we would enjoy the presence of himself.

The Miles Between
Some of the dearest friends that life has to offer have been walking through a sequence of suffering seasons. If it is not this…it is that. If it is not one…it is the other. I share their story because there is a truth that surfaces when we realize our role in the suffering of those we love even if it is with miles between us.

There is a certain kind of friendship that is shared among people that draws out the best of you…even if it is painful…even when you feel helpless. We have that kind of friendship.

These friends were the first to welcome us to a strange city. They are the ones that make you dream. Not just of what you can do but of what you can do together…with them. They are the ones that always open their door or rush to your apartment to “office wheelchair” your wife to the ER in the middle of the night. Groggy…but there. Always there.

There until they are not…not physically anyways.

Then they get news that makes the miles between feel like an impossible expanse. The thing they need most, the thing you need most is to be there…with them. As you watch them from afar you see their faith become real, tangible, as if they walked into the tomb and touched it’s vacancy. They are real and raw. Rubbed over and over again into the likeness of Christ and you begin to understand that suffering is that agonizing requisite of sanctification. The painful molding into Christlikeness.

The Dusty Hill
A quick glance at the suffering of Jesus reveals an interesting aspect of his journey. If there was ever a person who could walk through pain and suffering alone, it was Jesus. But in his humanity he cannot and he did not shuffle up the hill with untreated, splintery wood on his back alone. One Simon of Cyrene was given the humbling task of carrying the cross of Jesus up a dusty hill.

This is exactly what suffering looks like for the family of Christ followers. This is exactly how we are to respond to those we love when they receive news that suffering just kicked down the front door. There may not be a physical burden we can lift or maybe there is. Maybe the miles don’t lend to the tenderness of an embrace. But don’t miss the opportunity to love well and to inject glimpses of joy and hope and to watch. Watch them because it is these images that will echo into eternity the faithfulness of God’s beloved.

Suffering is not going anywhere…not today anyways. It will be a part of this world until the return of Christ, when he comes to crush it for good. Until then the people of God are called to walk together. Whether we are close by or a long way off we have been called to follow behind and allow the splinters of their cross to sink deeply into our backs.

*To learn more about our friends story, Abby and Jared Perry, follow along at joywovendeep.com.

The Cruelest Silence

Each week as I sit at my desk preparing to write, I seemingly stumble across an image, a headline, or a video that robs me of breath. So to the end of full disclosure I am wrenched and sickened by the photos coming out of Syria. Fathers are not supposed to bury their children. Families are not supposed to be forced to leave their homes. But then you read the gospels and you get a glimpse into the hurt, into the pain, but ultimately the hope that it won’t be like this forever. I mention this not to preface a treatise on immigration (although that may be needed) or to hide a political agenda behind a pastor’s blog (there’s enough of that). I write this simply to point to the One who brings order out of chaos and light out of darkness. The only one who can makes sense of the relentless groans of the world around us.

The Cruelest Silence…

Have you ever been scared of noise?
The sound of bullets flying aimlessly through your streets.
The sound of brakes screeching followed by shattered glass.
The sound of the door shutting behind your spouse as they walk out.

Have you ever been scared of silence?
The eery stillness after an episode of gunfire.
The anxious quiet after an accident.
The heart shattering hush of a broken marriage.

Noises scare us because we recognize them. We can immediately comprehend the impact and devastation a certain noise requires.

Silence is different. Silence scares us because of the unknown. We don’t know what is coming or what just hit us. We feel abandoned, alone, wrought with a bone crushing fear. That is what silence does to a soul. That is what silence does to us all.

Noise
Matthew 3 gives a vivid account of the baptism of Jesus. Jesus journeys to the Jordan river to be baptized by a flocculent John the Baptist. This is the one John had been talking about. With each immersion he cried out in expectation, “there is one coming after me who is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry.” And now face to face with the one who made him leap in his mother’s womb, he is asked to baptize the Son of God. John resists but does not prevail. And what happens next is the loudest noise the world has ever heard.

“This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

Words we long to hear. The noise we hope rings out when standing at the gates of Heaven.

But these words don’t come easy. They come at a price. For Jesus these words were followed by 40 days of wandering through the wilderness constantly bombarded by Satan’s temptations. But that’s not what we want. We want the “I am pleased with you my child” apart from consequence of being called to the ends of the earth.

The call to follow Jesus is dangerous…ask John! Taming the gospel to make it safe for the whole family deafens the noise that will echo throughout eternity.

Silence
If what we see in Matthew 3 is the loudest noise the world has ever heard, then Matthew 27 is the “silent-est” silence the world has ever heard.

Much has been written about the question Jesus asks just before exhaling for the last time. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Was it doubt? Was it fear?

Fredrick Bruner notes in his commentary on Matthew that he could have died any way he wanted. He could have died triumphantly, victoriously exclaiming that he wasn’t going to stay dead long. But he didn’t. He went out with a question. Bruner continues, “He not only took on our flesh and blood but also our nervous systems.” Those feelings of silence. Those anxieties of noiselessness. He felt that.

He endured that for me, for you. He knew that one day I would be wrecked by a silent image. He knew that one day little children would wash up on the shores of an unknown land. He knew that the only way for the world to be made right meant that he had to endure the cruelest silence of all.

The silence of a father. The silence of His Father.

The beauty of the gospel is that the wake created by silence has been calmed. The forsakenness that we deserve has been experienced by someone else.

Whether it is the loudest noise or the silent-est silence, we hear proclaimed over us, “This is my son, this is my daughter, with whom I am well pleased.”

Dear First Year Seminarian,

Dear First Year Seminarian,

Today you are embarking on a journey that doesn’t conclude with graduation but rather at the end of your life. Don’t forget that this journey was initiated by God not an application process. You are preparing for a calling and not a career. So when things get hard…like really hard, I hope that this letter will remind you that you are loved and you are not alone.

Identity
Over the coming years, you will find yourself asking more questions than you can ever be provided answers. Questions about theology, history, the church, and progressive dispensationalism…but most importantly you will find yourself asking questions about…you.

Who am I?
Why me?
What am I going to do?
Am I good enough…smart enough…do I have an answer?

In those moments it is easy to slip into a seminarian slumber, to lock yourself in the library trying to find an identity that is right before you but hidden behind mounds of paper. Sure it is in the most dense theology text books and in tedious assignments that appear meaningless, but it is in the very words of Jesus. The words that seem so close but feel so distant…

You are a child, a son or a daughter.
You are a friend.
You have been justified and redeemed.
You have been accepted and welcomed in.
You are a new creation.
You have a place in the body of Christ.
You are sealed, hidden, and cherished.

The Danger
Along the way people have warned you, “don’t let the word of God turn into a textbook.” The temptation is real. While piecing together a brilliant exegetical you miss the very presence of God. You miss Jesus drawing you near.

You will receive grades, sharp comments, and criticism based on your time in Scripture. Naturally, devotion turns to obligation, holiness turns into deadlines, and the red letters become red markings.

“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world (graduates with honors, passes the proficiency exam on the first try, has his thesis published) and forfeits his soul?”
– Jesus in Matthew 16:26 (italics obviously mine).

The words that you are writing about or being tested about are the most beautiful words in all of human history. Savor them, enjoy them, wrestle with them, but don’t lose them…don’t miss them!

Community
You have asked those who have gone before you what the most impactful part of seminary was for them. Here is my answer and my encouragement.

I had professors whom I loved, I took classes that gave me life, but the most impactful part of seminary was a band of men who surrounded me. They loved me, they challenged me, they walked with me, they held me, they wept with me, and they celebrated with me. And the most incredible part is that they still do that for me and their wives do that for my wife.

This is the hard work of the pastor. Finding godly men to surround yourself with doesn’t get easier when you land your first pastorate, in fact it gets infinitely harder. I promise this, the people you surround yourself with through seminary will be your pastors and your friends for the rest of your life.

Conclusion
Work hard, not for the grade but for Christ and his Kingdom.
Stay up late and get up early but don’t sacrifice your family.
Read A LOT! but don’t miss falling deeply in love with the words of God.

When you get to the finish line, remember that it is not a race that you are finishing but one you are just beginning. It is a high calling that God has given you. And whether you go on to pastor a church, write a book, or teach biology to 6th graders God has called you to shepherd his people and to train them up in Christ-likeness.

Finally, I want to encourage you. Don’t give up. Don’t lose heart. Work hard. Rest well. You are not alone and you are not the first person to tank a Hebrew paradigm. Regardless of how this season of your life turns out, you are not defined by it. Your identity is sure and complete.

26 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 30 And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, 31 so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”
-1 Corinthians 1:26-30

Grace be with you,
Stephen

Love is Losing Faster Than it’s Winning

Love is a 9-letter word…

T-O-L-E-R-A-N-C-E.

…or so we’ve been told.

There has been a lot of talk lately about “love.”  But my fear is that we are talking about something utterly different, something polar opposite, something desperately unknown to the love of Jesus.

No doubt there is a poverty in the English language for love.  We love shakes, sunsets, and spouses.  But really what we mean is that we enjoy the things that make us happy, the stuff that makes us feel good, or the fantasy that this world is about us.

My fear is that at the root of this misconception/misunderstanding is an idol…a false identity…a lie.  And the effects are devastating.

The Lie
“Love is self-interested.”

Culture has granted us the “freedom” to choose love in whatever combination makes us happy.  The lie is that love is all about us.  This posturing cultivates self-interest and commodifies our neighbor to gain an edge or earn a profit.  This is precisely…anti-love…it is hate…and it is winning.  And the result has jeopardized the character of love for a scaly version of ourselves.

Compare this self-directed love to the life of Jesus.

The Truth
“Love is others-directed”

The Gospel tells us that love is self-sacrificing.  Jesus sums up the entire law, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”  The type of love that Jesus is talking about cost him his life.  We mustn’t forget that the pain he felt was real…his death was real.  Each strike of the whip on his side tore the flesh from his bones, the crown dug deep into his skull, the nails pierced his bloody, dusty hands and feet.  But we also mustn’t forget that his suffering was manifested by his Father turning his back on him.  The pain was real agony but the loneliness was crippling.

In the midst of torture and torment Jesus says, “Father, your will be done.”

Love vs. Tolerance
“It is the very essence of a relationship that it must issue mutual love in a visible community. Love is nothing if it does not issue in words and deeds by which the lover binds the beloved to himself. Love is infinitely more than tolerance. Tolerance requires no visible community to express it, but love does. The deeper and stronger the love, the more binding will be the mutual obligations to which it will lead. Therefore, it belongs to the very essence of the atonement wrought by Christ, that it leads to the creation of a visible community handing men together in all nations and all generations. The relationship between the Christian and the world is much more than tolerance. Tolerance suggests leaving one another alone, and this is precisely what Christian’s cannot do.”
-Lesslie Newbigin (Missionary Theologian)

I’m not sure what is more disconcerting…the fact that we have mistaken love for tolerance or the fact that we have just completely mistaken love.  But the barebones truth is that we have missed it…as humans and as the church.  The world has raised the flag of tolerance not love and we have been silent too long.

Newbigin understands that in the face of evil and in the midst of darkness the only thing that will prevail is love…not tolerance.  Tolerance requires nothing except silence and passivity; meanwhile love requires everything and demands a voice and action.

Tolerance = every man for himself
Love = my life for yours

We have been given a new identity.  We are no longer orphans, wanderers, aliens…we are beloved children bought with a price…bought with a life.  Someone else’s life.  “The basis of our new identity in Jesus is love – God’s love and the love demonstrated by Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection.” (David Lomas “The Truest Thing About You”)

Perspective
The tsunamic wave caused by the exposure of Planned Parenthood is proof that we are much more comfortable with tolerance than we would like to let on.

I have mistakenly watched each video in public spaces.  On occasions brought to my knees and others uncontrollably weeping…my heart has shattered into a thousand pieces, scattered throughout my bowels.  With each caption the breath escaping further from my lungs.  Desperately longing to go home and hold my son.

The hands, the hearts, the faces…Come quickly Lord Jesus.

Millions of dreams, first dates, and graduations robbed.  Little hands reaching for the fingers of her mother but instead grabbing hold of the forceps of death.  The safest place on planet earth, the womb, has become a war zone.  And somehow it has all become a part of everyday life.  Tolerance did that…not love.

Church arise!  It is time to be visible.  It is time to turn over the table.  If not us…then who?  If not now…then when?

Here is what I know to be true…the love of God can never outrun the forgiveness of God.  So let us be the first to raise the banner of love and forgiveness over those clinics, over those looting life for Lamborghini’s, over those who can’t fight for themselves, over our own insidious apathy.

Because love is infinitely more than tolerance.

14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love,18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

-Ephesians 3:14-19

Tones, Tempos, & Tantrums

James 3:2-10

2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.

We have lost our ability to communicate.
We have forfeited our opportunities for discussion and dialogue.
We have devalued one another.

I’m sorry. Forgive my aggressive tones, my quick snide remarks, and my aversion to conflict. I want to be better and I hope you do too. I want to commit to having hard conversations in a healthy, uplifting and edifying manner. I want to talk to you…I want to see you.

Tones
The widespread abuse of social media has killed our ability to communicate. We hide behind computer screens (I see the irony in this post!) and bombastically chide one another for convictions and deep rooted beliefs. The platform of comment sections have erased the consequence of tone. It is left up to the reader to discern the manner in which people post. Our tendency is to assume the worst.

Tone is important and without it, effective communication is lost. Without proper tone we cannot fully understand our neighbors and our friends. Instead we get caught up in talking over one another as a means of winning an argument or positioning ourself ahead of or smarter than the other. This is devastating to our social fabric, our families, and our churches.

As Christians, we need to remember that we are agents of reconciliation and stewards of grace. We must be willing to tame our tongues (or fingers) from delivering a message we are not intending to communicate.

Tempos
It is astounding how quickly we choose to speak. Following comment sections can be an exhausting exercise and they pile up faster than we are able to process. When it comes to our tempos, process, is the forgotten policy.

Slow down.
Think.
Process.

Then speak.

Jesus was so deliberate. When the disciples were desperate to know which of them was greater, Jesus picked up a child, tenderly set him in his lap and said, “Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. For he who is least among you all is the one who is great.” He knew their intentions, he understood their motivations and he crushed their paradigm.

You have nothing to gain by adding followers or winning arguments. You have already been delivered. You have already been redeemed. You have already won and it’s ok to be last.

Tantrums
What is the most shocking is how quickly we lash out and condemn one another. Even within the church we criticize to the detriment of the body.

Don’t tirade around the Internet, don’t bombast FaceBook. Now more than ever our thoughts are captured until the end of time. Every comment, every post, every picture out there…forever. Tell a better story. Instead of reacting to tantrums with more tantrums respond in grace, love, and mercy.

Are we in controversial times…ABSOLUTELY!
Is darkness on display…YOU BET!

But, Christ is still King and the tomb is still empty. Victory has been won! He sealed it with His blood, His splinters, and a pile of garments in an abandoned grave. The white flag has been waved.

Conclusion
Friends, there are appropriate environments for every conversation. I believe that. That environment may not always be what is easiest or most convenient. Face-to-face conversations are hard. But there is beauty and sincerity exposed when you sit down with a brother or sister and walk humbly and confidently. It is difficult to misinterpret tone, lose hold of tempo, and relinquish to tantrums when we are together.

Do we need to have a voice? Yes.
Do we sometimes need to be loud? Yes.

I am not suggesting that in the face of injustice we should remain silent. In fact, that is the complete opposite of what I am saying. We must be a voice for the voiceless. We must speak up and stand out against hate, evil, and systemic injustice. If we don’t who will?

But we must remember that our Lord came as a suffering servant. If anyone had a justified reason for lashing out it is him. Innocent, perfect, selfless. He walked, crawled, weeped up the hill of injustice for someone else…for me…for you…for His Father. As a follower of Jesus, I am publicly stating with my life that I want mine to look more like His. I will flip over tables when it is appropriate but I will lay down my life (i.e. my desire to win, to be right, to earn fame) for the good of my friends (actual and digital) and the glory of the Father, the fame of the Son, by the power of the Spirit. Amen.

Am I perfect…nope! Am I consistent…not even close! But I want to steward conversations that crush darkness and triumph in light. I want to sit with people who see the world differently. I want Jesus to look at my life and think…”I taught him that!”

Here are a few passages from Scripture that speak directly to our tones, tempos, and tantrums.

• James 1:19 – Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

• Matthew 15:11 – It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.

• Ephesians 4:29 – Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

• Proverbs 15:1 – A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

• Galatians 5:16 – But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.